Search For The Perfect Rootbeer: Boylan’s

I had to give up soda about… something like fifteen years ago when I first realized my stomach didn’t work right (it’s since been diagnosed as a malfunctioning stomach valve, after previously being diagnosed as IBS and realizing it was much higher than that. the two sides of my upper stomach valve get out of whack and pull against each other instead of working together, and fizzy drinks are a good way to set it off). But I miss rootbeer, and I let myself have one once in a while when the urge strikes me and my stomach is not too upset about whatever I’m doing lately. But see, not having had rootbeer in almost a decade before I started drinking it again, I have this idea of what it should taste like, and most rootbeers don’t taste like that, so I’ve decided to try all of them and find the best one.

This is Boylan’s, and it’s pretty close. It’s all natural cane sugar, not HFCS or anything (which I try to avoid because it’s bad for you, no matter what the Corn Council says, it tastes too sweet, and it’s a risk factor for other health problems I have). It’s sweet in that creamy way that rootbeer should have, and it tastes like rootbeer, not like licorice or like artificial rootbeer flavoring, which is flat and goes too far. I hate the idea that rootbeer should have ‘bite’—it shouldn’t. It just shouldn’t bee so freakishly sweet that you feel the need to add acid to balance it (poorly and lazily).

It comes in a glass bottle, which I think makes for a purer taste, and a brown one at that, so there’s no chance light can damage it (I know that happens to milk; I have no idea if it happens to soda, but I wouldn’t be surprised). And best of all, it’s not desperately fizzy like so many mainstream sodas! It’s got the sparkle, but it doesn’t overpower, and it doesn’t cause a lot of gas in my broken stomach, so I can drink this one entirely while it’s still cool, instead of waiting for it to de-fizz, and therefore having to drink warm soda.

That’s my shop in the background, where all my pack lunches are eaten.